One year (and thirty-five rejections) on from my first experience of querying, here I am again. The last time it was a middle-grade fantasy, this time it’s a psychological thriller. How are things different this time around?

Firstly, this is my go-to genre as a reader. In an airport bookshop (or any bookshop), thrillers are the titles that leap out at me screaming ‘READ ME NOW!’ I don’t read middle-grade fantasy – and this fact was always a bit of a dampner when it came to doing agent research for my first book. If I’m completely honest with myself, that novel was the eight-year-old girl in me writing a story that she would have wanted to read herself. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that – after all, surely all writers are writing stories they’d want to read themselves?! But with my fantasy, that’s all it was. It’s where my eight-year-old heart used to be, it’s not where my heart is now.

Now, my heart lies firmly with adult mysteries, preferably involving complex twists, multiple POVs and some seriously complex psychological issues. Researching authors and agents has been an absolute pleasure as I’ve devoured title after title, trying to work out what each author has done and how they’ve achieved it … analysing hooks and premises, twists and cliffhangers, characters and motivations, voice and description.

Another difference is that I’ve got two more online writing courses under my belt, and a very encouraging manuscript assessment from Faber Academy that gave me lots of food for thought, and edits I could make to strengthen the novel. I made those edits immediately, bringing me to a complete and polished draft number six of my novel. And so back to the ‘querying trenches’ as they say.

I know I’m more invested this time, because a day before I sent off my first batch of six queries, I couldn’t even imagine pressing that ‘send’ button. How would I ever have read and reread and checked a double-checked the chapters, synopsis and cover letter enough times? My heart pounded just thinking about it. I pored over my cover letter so many times that I even began doubting the spelling of my own name, let alone the agents’. Like when you say a word over and over so many times it begins to lose its meaning and becomes an alien sound in your ear. That’s when I knew I just had to hit ‘send’. I’d done all the hard work, I’d crossed all the t’s and dotted all the i’s and now I just needed to let go.

One week on and I’m one rejection down, and desperately trying not to refresh my emails every thirty seconds. But this time I’m clinging to the fact that I know the genre I’m writing in backwards and inside out, and I know the hook and appeal of my book. This doesn’t mean an agent is going to like it (and certainly not enough to offer representation) … but it makes me feel better prepared.

I’m also taking heart from the fact that this first rejection asked me to send any future book to them, because ‘we loved your writing.’ So I’m interpreting that as a good sign (and really hoping that’s not just their form rejection), and keeping everything crossed for the queries still out there. And if they all turn into rejections, I suppose I’ll crack on with the next batch of queries, and make a start on book number three …

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